Case Study

Fely, The Burnt Out

Housewife

Prepared by: Ronith Nikki Pacis

I-BSBA

General Psychology

II. Abstract:

III. Introduction

            Tagasalo comes from the Tagalog root word “salo” which means “to catch”. With the prefix “taga” which means “one who catches.”  There is a tagasalo in every Filipino family, one who plays the role of caretaker not only of household matters, but of the family’s emotional needs. The need to take care of others can extend indiscriminately to a point that the tagasalo may become physically and emotionally drained.

 In the case of Fely, her tagasalo syndrome was evidently seen when she was in college years. After she obtained an M.A. in Guidance, she continued her studies toward a Ph. D because she strongly felt that from the very beginning, her father had always wanted someone to follow his footstep as doctor since she was the only one left to study. The tagasalo personality of Fely was even more evident in her married life when she could no longer depend on his husband for numerous responsibilities. This caused Fely to catch all the burden of being a mother and a father at the same time. Because Fely could no longer take it, she decided to bring the child with her to their parents. She thought that she would be the on be taken care of but turn opposite instead. She would find herself taking care of the house, supervising her mother’s maids when they were not doing their jobs well and being attuned constantly to what her parents were thinking. This kind of personality of Fely becomes unconscious, indiscriminate and compulsive leading negative consequences to her and the people around her.

This study is conducted to further know and understand Fely’s problem. We are after the factors causing her tagasalo syndrome and the effects of this problem to her and to the people around her. We are also after the solutions that might help in overcoming this syndrome.

IV. Methods

a.    Subject

            The subject of the study is a thirty-five-year-old counselor and housewife. She has two sons aged seven and two. She obtained M.A. in Guidance and finished Ph. D. Her father is an obstetrician and her mother is a housewife. She has two sisters who obtained their studies abroad.

b.    Presentation of the Problem

  

When Fely was in her childhood, she has a mother who is a housewife who runs the house while his father is a very prominent obstetrician who asked for achievement of his daughters. Fely’s eldest sister or the ate is the favorite of the father who treated her like a princess. This favoritism was resented by their mother that’s why her ate left their home without letting her parents know. Her ate applied for studies abroad in a European University. Her parents didn’t know about it so they were surprised. While the second elder sister left home immediately after college obtaining a master’s degree abroad. Following the chronological sequence, Fely was the next one expected to leave home but she recalled not wanting to leave for some reason. She later claimed that she wanted to serve her parents. She went abroad briefly to take some special courses in music but then she got married which was expected by her mother. Fely obtained an M.A. in Guidance but she strongly felt that her father wanted someone to follow his footsteps so she continued her studies toward Ph. D although she experienced a lot of difficulties while studying.  In the middle of the course, she almost dropped out because of numerous responsibilities. At one point, she even toyed with the idea of shifting to medicine but she thought it was exactly during these times that she felt she had to go on. At the back of her mind, she knew that her father would be disappointed if she doesn’t pursue her doctoral studies. She finally finished her Ph. D and gifted her father with a doctor in family.

As a housewife, Fely has two sons, aged seven and two. For her, her marital life is unsatisfying. She had the major role of looking after her two children because her husband was usually depressed by his problems. She took care of everything, she had to shop for groceries, drive her son to school and do numerous other tasks while her husband at home, sound asleep. The draining situations kept recurring until they came to a point when could no longer endure them. Fely thought moving back to her parent’s home bringing along her two children because according to her, she could no longer depend on her husband. She further said that she moved to her parent’s home because she wanted to be taken care of but often times she would find herself taking care of everything in the house from supervising the maids to being adjusted constantly with what her parents were thinking or feeling. Although her parents accepted her presence without question, she noticed she had to be on her toes to anticipate what they wanted from her, and yet never quite making it. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried, she could never obtain the same level of appreciation and affection her elder sisters had from their parents. As a result, she found herself trying to please everyone she knew and her need to please intensified until it became compulsive.

               At a very young age, her son had been very sensitive to her needs and tried the best to make her happy. Fely knew her son was trying to carry the burdens who eventually became her tagasalo. This worried Fely because her son was too young for this kind of role. At one point, he acted out this internal problem by getting into all sorts of trouble in school. He resorted to attention-getting behavior and ended up being teased and bullied by his classmates.

            The problem of Fely is her compulsive personality that she can’t avoid or she can’t separate herself doing things for her family. She feels liable for everything. She feels compelled and tries very hard to anticipate and catch people’s approval and affection. Yet, there is always a feeling of quite not making it.

c.    Procedure

       We used qualitative method in doing this study. We provide a systematic way of looking at the events by collecting data, analyzing information, and reporting the results. We first studied the events or episodes of Fely’s life; from her family history to and to her marriage life. Having studied the episodes, we identified Fely’s problem and provided the data that might have caused Fely’s personality problem. Then after that, we identified the solutions that might help in overcoming this problem.

d.      Results   

              In this study we found out that Fely’s problem is her personality that she cant avoid catching responsibilities for other people because she have always felt that there no other choices left, that if she don’t do the thing that she think that is have to be done then people will get mad of her. Fely is obsessed about pleasing people especially when it comes to her parents. Since his father is playing favoritism among them, Fely came to struggle more just for her father to notice her. Fely even felt that no matter what she does, she can never experience the same level of love and attention her other sisters get. We also propose a solution that if she let go of her “trying too hard” attitude she might be able to solve her problem. Also, if she distances herself from responsibilities that are not for her then maybe it will help. She must also try to remove the “I am the one responsible for everything” mentality. These things are important elements in the treatment of tagasalo syndrome. She must also admit to herself that she has a problem and having done that, she must tell or open up to the people around her the problem that she’s facing. And by doing those things, her treatment of her compulsive personality can be treated.